Friday, April 8, 2011

Well, my blogs going to be changing...

Well, my blogs about to change. There are people that have been reading it that I don't want reading it, so I'll be starting it with a new URL. If you follow it, or just want to read it still, email me at tubes 2 transistors @ gmail . com for the new URL. Just take the spaces out, and you have the email.

See ya soon!


Monday, April 4, 2011

Just another day...

Just another day of getting the ex fiances crap together so maybe she will eventually come get it and get out of my life. You know what? I have something I need to get off my mind.

I know I've said things about Tiffany on here that weren't exactly the nicest. But don't take that the wrong way. I loved her and still do with all my heart. I wish we could have stayed together. If she had come back to me, I would have accepted her with open, loving arms. There would have had to been a few changes on her part for sure, but I would have accepted her. Being engaged to her was the best thing that ever happened to me, and probably ever will.

I've been trying to think about why she left me. Seeing that not too long before she did, we came out to her family, and their antiquated, hypocritical, and discriminatory (not sure if that's the word I'm thinking of) ideals and supposed morals (lack of more like it) took it badly and told me I was no longer welcome there. Really though, it's her grandmother (Ruby Williams) that makes a poor attempt to run the family and keep it in the stone age. She's such a hypocrit that it isn't even funny. She calles herself a Christian, but thinks she can judge others. She would even talk crap about Tiffany's dad right to her. That woman is pathetic. But hey, I'm not passing judgement on her by any means. God will have his say on her in the end, and I bet it won't be good.

I actually looked up a few minutes ago to see if her business had ever been reported to the Better Business Bureu, and didn't see it listed with any complaints. Well, after tonight, it does now. :)

Really thinking about it, I'm really glad this happened. Yes, we had what on the surface was a good engagement, but underneath, there was Tiffany cheating constantly, lieing constantly, and just being cold hearted. even though that's the case, I do miss her. It's mainly because we had been together so long.

BTW, I put money on it that when Tiffany ran off, she ran off to get fucked by another random guy again. But hey, that's her choice to sleep around like that. She will probably end up doing just like her mom and marrying man after man after man never staying with just one. I'm just glad I got out when I did.

But hey, things are going well enough for me now I'm happy without a bit of sadness in me. Talking to multiple guys who all want me, working towards going back to college, and finally opened up enough to go to clubs, and I love my life. My bff is the best thing to happen to me in years and I thank God he had us meet. :)

Sunday, April 3, 2011

OMG!!!!! Best night ever!!!!!!

Where to begin, lol. Well, earlier today, the guy I met online the other day got his cell fixed finally and the more I talk to Scott, the more I fall for him. :) He's sooooo great. He's older than me by a bit, but OMG!!! He's just so freakin' awesome!!! I swear, if he keeps up this sweet talk, I know for a fact, he will have me by his side forever. Like seriously, no girl or guy I've been with has been so perfect!!! Just talking to him, I melt. :) He's been on my mind 24/7 since we first started talking. :D

Anyway, the rest of the night. Me and my bff Tiffanee went to Club XYZ, and this had to be the best night of my life! I finally got to meet my friend Xena, and she is awesome! She looks even better in person and was awesome performing tonight. Club XYZ has to be the most awesome place I've ever been, and getting to see Xena just made it better. Just glad I'm single cause my ex would never have gone with me or prolly even have let me go there to meet her. Life is better now that I'm single than it ever was being engaged.

Got a new place to go hang out and drink and maybe get drunk, lol, meet new people that won't judge me, and have the best bff in the freakin' world now! I just can't get over how much better my life is now. Yeah, it sucks sleeping alone, but if things keep going well with Scott, I may not have to sleep alone much longer. :P 

Oh, finally figured out a makeup combo that hides my facial hair completely. Something interesting about tonight. This was the first time I had been out in public around a lot of people dressed, and no anxiety attacks while I was out! I just can't get over how much life is getting better! I swear, the more I think about it, all my ex ever really did for me was hold me back emotionally and with my self confidence, and kept me in my depression. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret getting with her or getting matching tattoos together, but I'm so happy that horrible part of my life is over.

I can finally get to be who I really am without being told things that just make me feel bad about who I am. Life's so good to me now. No more antidepressants, no more depression, no more suicide attempts, making progress on my cutting, and.... I finally met the man of my dreams.

Finally... I can say life is good and not lie...