Thursday, December 16, 2010

Not so interesting day today.

Today wasn't so interesting. Feel free to read elsewhere if you get bored easy.

Woke up a little early today, not too much. My neck was still killing me. Was going to write last night, but my neck hurt so bad I just went to sleep. It didn't hurt as bad today, but I was still miserable. When I'm hurting bad like that, I start to question everything. Like my transition. I question why I want to, and end up making myself feel like shit. Like today, I questioned whether I would really be able to go full time. What's odd is that I know for a fact I couldn't live as a guy anymore, but as a woman seems too scary to do. But having to live at my parents has a major part in my thoughts like that. They're so old fashioned and closed minded, they have me feeling ashamed to be myself. The faster I can get away from them the better. Too bad the economy has to be in the shitter, otherwise, I would be working like I wish I was and I wouldn't be here again. Getting to go to Foothills Mall and Wally World was a good distraction though.

Tomorrow since she's off, we will be going to Gatlinburg to the career center. Hopefully I can find at least a lead on a job.If I could quit forgetting to I need to apply at Blount Memorial Hospital. A good friend may help me get on there. Oh, while I'm at the career center, I'm going to ask where and who I need to talk to about low income housing. I need away from my parents, even if it means I'll lose my chance of going to school for now. I'm starting to rant now, so I'm gonna call it quits for the night. Later.

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